ORTIGOZA: Q & A’s  Boo-boo: Manny Pacquiao and Alma Moreno

November 29, 2015 at 11:38 pm Leave a comment


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After interviewing in the past former president Fidel V. Ramos, former five-time Speaker Jose de Venecia,  an ambassador from other country, 2016 presidential front runner Senator Grace Poe, 2016 vice presidential wannabes and Senators Alan Peter Cayetano, Chiz Escudero, and Ferdinand “Bong Bong” Marcos, Jr., I think these two interviews I had with two prominent political figures in the country would be my icing on the cake after I retire from the interesting world of the media in the Philippines to prepare myself in the likewise interesting catering business dahil wala palang masyadong kita dito sa media.
Here are senatorial candidate Manny Pacquiao, the epitome of patent and scandalous absences in the Philippine Congress and a shoo-in at the respectable pollsters Social Weather Stations and Pulse Asia, and bumbling actress Alma Moreno in a satirical Questions and Answers (Q & A) as they prepare  for the 2016 senatorial run. Excerpts:
QUESTION: Champ, ever since there is non-stop killing in your island Mindanao, how’s the peace and order situation there now?
PACQUIAO: Well, you know…. it is bad. Many fish like tuna, dorobo, tilapia, and hito but no order… very bad.
  Q: Totoo po ba Congressman Pacquiao sa isa ninyong madalang na attendance sa House, gusto daw ninyo mag pasa’ ng urgent resolution for the immediate arrest of John Doe at Jane Doe, bakit po?
P: Lagi ko kasi silang nadidinig na kasangkot sa maraming krimen. Minsan madidinig mo na lang sa radyo o TV na ang mga criminals na nahuhuli sa Manila, may isang lalaki at may isang babae na John Doe at Jane Doe na kasama na parang palos  na nakakatakas sa police dragnet. After one hour nasa Zamboanga na naman sila kasangkot ang tatlong pinangalanang Abu Sayaff at isang John Doe at Jane Doe na nambomba. Parang si Kumander Tootpick at Kumander Inday ito, may pagka aswang. Isang oras lang nasa Zamboangga na! May anting-anting ata itong mga hunghang, mas mabilis pa silang lumipad sa PAL o Cebu Pacific.
Q: Pati Anti-Fencing Law gusto ninyo daw buwagin, bakit?
P: Kasi iyong kapit bahay namin sa Saranggani hinuli ng pulis. Mi Prima Facie daw na bumili ng nakaw, ayon kinasuhan ng Anti-Fencing.
Bakit siya kakasuhan ng Anti Fencing? Hindi naman siya tutol sa pagpapader sa palipaligid ng mga kapitbahay niya. Saka hindi naman siya naglalaro ng fencing iyong eskrima ng payat na espada gaya doon sa pelikula ni Zorro. Ang alam noong kapitbahay namin na gamitin iyong espading iyong itak pamputol sa mga tubo doon sa amin at iyong ginamit na pang tuli kay Bobby na kapatid ko.
Q: Nadinig ko pati si Prima Facie gusto din daw ninyo ipahuli sa NBI?
P: Oo, kasi mapa –Manila man o mapa Cebu ako nadidinig ko na kinasuhan si niho at si niha dahil may Prima Facie. Foreigner siguro itong si Prima Facie, masyadong malakas, hindi nila  hinuhuli kahit na sinabi na ng uturidad na kasali si Jose, Pedro, Juan sa krimen dahil kay Prima Facie. Dapat may national manhunt dito kay Prima, mas masahol pa it kay John Doe at Jane Doe.
Q: Pero senator, este, congressman, Prima Facie ay Latin words ho iyan. It means sufficient corroborating evidence appears to exist to support a case.
P: I don’t care about that, you know? The case you meant, you know? There should be a manhunt next week, right now! Tama ba ang grammar ko? Paki delete na lang sa blog mo pag mali. Mas masahol pa itong si Facie kay wanted Dinagat Island Congressman Ruben Ecleo Jr, iyong mukhang sinto-sinto na bangag na kasama namin sa Kongreso.

ALMA MORENO
MORTZ: Maam Alma, what is your stand on K-12?
ALMA: (Shrieked and guffawed just like what she did at ABS-CBN TV Karen Davilla’s Q & A). Ikaw ha, pinapahirapan mo ako sa question mo. Ma Inglish nga kita.
I don’t want to stand, I want to sit. I don’t like either K-12 or K-11; I liked K-9 dog style!
MORTZ: What can you say on the violence that explodes in Mindanao?
ALMA: Kayo naman Mr. Ortigoza, ni guitar nga hindi ako marunong mag play, violen pa na mas mahirap.
Tanong ninyo ako ng ibat-ibang holen, baka masagot ko pa.
****
When I was a kid growing inside the camp of the Philippine Military Academy I wondered why every Saturday or Sunday there were cadets that ate lunch and spent their afternoon at the houses of our military neighbours.
“They are foster brothers,” a young pretty female neighbour, who became a general in the nurse corps, said to me on the graduating first class cadets.
Many of these cadets came from dirt poor existence in the provinces but catapulted themselves to the elite military school because of their intelligence especially in math in high school.
Some of them married the daughters (their foster sisters) of officers and non officers who stayed at the PMA’s quarters.
One of the cadets, just to stop the inquisitiveness and loquaciousness of a five-year old boy, carried me on his lap to stop my blabber when my lady cousin Darcy invited them inside our house so some of them, who were ilonggos, could meet and exchange pleasantries with my father who hailed from Iloilo City.
“That was Julius Javier (PMA Class 1970 who came from Negros Occidental), he is the goat (the cadet who graduated last in his entire class),” my cousin whispered to me when Javier and classmates bid goodbye.
Javier not only became one of the most popular Army men but became the living hero of the Black Panther Scout Ranger due to his tenacity in fighting the Muslim rebels and the Communist’s guerrillas. He became the commanding general of the dreaded elite commando whose life story was put into the movie “Scout Ranger” in 1979 starred  by Karate King Roberto Gonzales, Dante Varona, Philip Gamboa, and others.
***
This PMA memory just popped out as I was reading about military officers from other countries who study for their career advancement at Fort Leavenworth in Kansas, USA.
Here was the narration of then Major Colin Powell (former Chairman of U.S Joint Chiefs of Staff and former Secretary of State) as told at page 127 of his 642 pages hard bound book “My American Journey” By Colin L. Powell with Joseph E. Persico.
 “The townsfolk adopted these foreign officers, so far from home, some separated from their families. They were invited by Kansans of every station to picnics, Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, birthdays, and baptisms. Years later, when I was serving as National Security Advisor to President Reagan, we faced a mini crisis during the visit of the president of Pakistan, Mohammad Zia ul-Haq. When asked for the list of guests he would like (to be) invited to the White House’s State Dinner honouring him, Zia said he wanted Ed and Dollie included. Ed and Dollie? It turned out that when Zia was a major studying at Leavenworth, Ed, a mailman, and his wife, Dollie, had just adopted him. Zia was still filled with warm memories of his friends, and consequently, a somewhat astonished Ed and Dollie were flown to Washington for dinner at the White House”.
Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq, by the way,  toppled through a quo d’ tat in July 5, 1977 Prime Minister Zulfikar Ali Bhutto. The junta  tried and executed him less than two years later for authorising the murder of a political opponent.
 Zia, as I read on the old Newsweek and Time magazines my father collected when I was in elementary grades, after being instrumental in putting down the Black September Insurgency  against Jordan King Hussein was appointed by Bhutto as Chief of Army Staff in 1976.
Bhutto was the father of later assassinated Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto.
The pro U.S Zia, instrumental in the flushing out of the Soviets in Afghanistan, died in August 17, 1988 in a mysterious C-130 Hercules cargo plane crash near Bahawalpur, Pakistan with several of his top military officials and two American diplomats.
 Filipino leaders and politicians, who fling with Mainland China, should take a look what Wikipedia has said: “Many of Pakistan’s political scientists and historians widely suspected that the riots and coup against Zulfikar Ali Bhutto was orchestrated with help of the US Central Intelligence Agency  (CIA) and the United States Government  because United States growing fear of Bhutto’s socialist policies which were seen as sympathetic towards the Soviet Union and had built a bridge that allowed Soviet Union to involved in Pakistan, and had access through Pakistan’s warm water port; something that the United States was unable to gain access since the establishment of Pakistan in 1947”.
The gist of the last paragraph was, if Uncle Sam finds that a country’s leadership gravitates toward the enemy, he would look to people like Zia and company to frustrate that gravitation in the name of U.S interest like the free navigation and air space in an area called the West Philippine Sea.

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