Perspectives : Mass Weddings without a Funeral

March 11, 2010 at 3:21 am Leave a comment

By Mortz C. Origoza

If the stupid looking-comedian Hugh Grant has his “Four Weddings and a funeral,, my piece today is about a “Mass Wedding without a Funeral” because of some political comedy and reality it brought.

One night I was invited by a PR man of a politician to witness a free mass wedding participated by 435 couples in San Fabian, Pangasinan. The witnesses were Governor Amado T. Espino, Mrs. Helen Gamboa Sotto (the wife of senatorial contender Tito Sotto), Abono Party List Chairman Rosendo So, congressional bet Gina de Venecia special guest, and mayoralty bet Irene Libunao. Vice Presidential contender Loren Legarda was special guest.

It was the first time I saw a huge wedding officiated by a mayor (Mojamito Libunao, a lawyer and a classmate of Senators Merriam Santiago and Franklin Drilon in the University of the Philippines ) who said a mouthful to the contracting parties who promised to stick at all cost till death parts them.

The couples were mostly unwashed members of society that epitomizes the Philippines . Their emaciated look was the result of the perennial gnawing poverty. They were the hoi-polloi who did not think for years and decades about the luxury of exchanging “I dos” even in civil wedding because they were preoccupied surviving in the morass of poverty.

Poker-looking groom wore either a worn-out a white barong or yellowing white polo shirt, while the shy brides awkwardly sport a rented or borrowed gown with some kilometric-long skirts that they strenuously pulled as they paraded with their men inside the plaza.

After they kissed each other, the principal witnesses gave them pieces of advice.

De Venecia said that a wife should understand and help her partner especially if he loses his job.

“Life is full of upside and down. Tulungan ninyo ang asawa ninyo. Huwag kukulitin. Iyang mga Misis lagi kayong magpaganda para di maghanap ng iba ang asawa ninyo. Magmahalan kayo!

Then it was time for the governor (a former battle-scarred decorated retired colonel) to tell what was in his mind.

“Taas ang kamay kung sino pa ang virgin dito sa inyo!” he thundered.

From the sea of couples occupying the entire plaza, I only saw two embarrassed brides who hesitantly raised their right hands as the spectators roared into laughter.

“Ano? Wala ng virgin dito sa inyo? Pahalik-halik pa kayo,at ang haba-haba pa ang salita ng mayor ninyo, wala na pa lang virgin dito!” the governor humorously chided them.

“Sa mga babae, huwag basahin ang cellphone at buksan ang mga pitaka ng mga mister ninyo. Iyan ang dahilan ng pag-aaway ng mag-asawa. Pag maingay ang isa, dapat tahimik ang isa. Pag mainit ang isa, dapat malamig ang isa. That’s how simple things are (for a happy marriage),” he wisely advised them.

The governor told the grooms not to patronize Karaoke Bars (and the sexy girls – some of whom carrysexually transmitted diseases – they provided) to avoid quarrel with their wives. He asked them to report to the village chief for him to close those earthly karaoke bars because they were responsible for family fights.

“Pag walang na kayong makain, iyong pag-ibig na iyan ay lilipad sa bintana. Huwag ninyo ng dagdagan ang inyong mga anak,” he expertly told them in the vernacular.

The governor gifted every couple P1,000 pesos (that’s a whopping 435,000!), de Venecia gave every couple a wall clock and P500, Engineer So gave every couple P500, while the allegedly tightwad couple Libunao gave the couple fans which has their photos stamped.

“That fan is for the couple to use every time the recurring brownout hits the town, or to cool them down every time they quarrel for the food on the table!” international reporter Ronel de Vera, of the famed BBC (Bocayo Broadcasting Corporation) cried for all to hear


(The hereunder article has saw print in two U.S boxing websites and where I am, ehem, their in-house analyst every time Filipino superman, except Superman’s handsome face Manny Pacquiao has his bout. Likewise, some of the insights here would be part of my analysis to GMA-7 who invited me to seat there on Friday)

Although Joshua Clottey is not Ricky Hatton and Miguel Cotto who were already washed-up when they clashed with pound-for-pound king Manny Pacquiao, the Ghanaian boring style of fighting would bust the pockets of those fanatics who fly to Cowboys Stadium in Arlington , Texas this Sunday.

His fight with Pacquiao is like watching with eternity a casket in the midst of an endless sermon of a priest in a funeral rite.

Although he can be likened to Fort Knox where his turtle like defense of gloves and forearms he loves to utilize to cover his African black face and granite-chin, fight fans do not like to watch a fighter waste all his time in the ring covering his face.

They want pugs like Miguel Cotto and Antonio Margarito (during their heydays) of the welterweight division who boxed and brawled and not played hide and seek.

With Pacquiao’s whirling dervish style, I could see Clottey maximizing his brand of defense as he compliments it by bending forward where his elbows can protect his kidney and lower torso.

This is a Winky Wright’s “trademark” that failed him to have a plethora of followers who love to watch sheer beastiality at the dais – even though he dominated twice thru his sneak counter punches the fast hitting Shane Mosley in their welterweight tussle.

With those counter depth-charges thrown by the Philippine’s Tasmania ’s devil against Joshua, we would be seeing the latter sneaking some counter-punches and some cautious lead jabs and straights to score then return to his shell-shock defenses.

Likewise, Clottey’s technical and knock out records were inferior compared to Pacquaio.

The former has 60 percent (35 Wins – 21 KOs), while the latter has 74 percent (50 wins – 37 KOs ). Joshua’s TKO/KO records could not be compared to Pacman who decked-out the likes of Eric Morales, Antonio Barrera, David Diaz, , Ricky Hatton, and Miguel Cotto.

What could the Ghanaian offer us? Henry Hill, Christopher Henry, Siki Benger, Didier Mebara, to name a few . Holly Molly, who are these dudes? Are they some small time illegal drug peddlers or robbers that wander in the Bronx areas in New York City and some ghettos in Accra, Ghana ?

But what made Clottey’s three loses controversial was he lost in 1999 against Argentinean Carlos Baldomir (who defeated Zab Judah but was defeated by Clottey) by disqualification as the former kept head but tings the latter in the second half of the rounds (Clottey, a soccer player in Ghana, thought he was still playing football in that match). The second lost was in 2006 to Margarito after Joshua’s dominated the first four rounds but hit the marble-like head of Mexican (whose toughness against punches cost Cotto his belt) that broke his right hand, and later his left hand. And last year his third lost was through a split decision and a controversial fight against the gassed-out and over-the-hill Cotto.

But what made this fight different is it would go to a distance and probably a decision.

With a granite-chin incased in container van and a record of not being knock-out in his entire boxing career, Pacquiao needs the shrewdness of Bernard Hopkins or even that of Field Marshal Erwin Rommel to exploit any holes on the Ghanaian’s defenses to score a knockdown or a knockout. (Send comments to

Entry filed under: Opinion.

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